Understanding What your Husband Really Wants
There are three things every man needs and wants in his marriage. Sex, more sex and lots of sex. Okay, so we’re going to assume you already know this. That means it should be pretty easy to keep your man happy. Except when he says that’s all he wants …. he’s lying to you.
Does he want it? Sure.
Is it all he wants? No, not even close.
Men Are Complicated Too
Men are just as emotionally needy as women but don’t tell them that. They’ll deny it anyway. Of course, they want more than sex. They want to have fun, feel loved and appreciated, they need to feel like the protector, they want respect and trust. This is just the tip of the iceberg, the list of a man’s needs goes on and on. It is as ceaseless and daunting as the list of women’s needs.
So while you are still transitioning to having a new permanent roommate for life think about adding a few more things to your relationship to help keep that honeymoon period thriving.
What He Needs
Things He Likes To Do
First, figure out what your husband’s version of flowers are and surprise him with it every now and then.
A new BluRay or video game perhaps. That also means you have to be willing to watch it with him. I know it’s another game about zombies and, yes, they are all the same. Just put on a smile and pretend to enjoy it. In fact, let him know how safe you feel knowing that he knows just how to protect you in the event of a real-life zombie invasion.
Let Him Be a “Man”
One thing men like is to feel needed and useful.
But don’t ask them to do too many things because they don’t want to be nagged and for men, there is a fine line between the two. Tread it carefully.
Chivalry is not dead, you know? Unless you murder it. I know you’re a modern woman who can open the door herself while carrying a 50-pound bag of dog food over your shoulder. But most men want the opportunity to prove they are gentlemen. So let him make the most of those opportunities. They make him feel a bit like a modern-day hero, if only for a little while (more on this in my final tip).
Food, Food, & Meat
They say the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Truer words have never been spoken. Take the time to make something extra special; it has a twofold effect.
Taking the time and effort to make a meal from scratch shows how much you care. Secondly, he’ll learn just how damn good you are in the kitchen. On that note, when you’re cooking for a man, there is always one thing you need. Meat.
Meat . It’s true.
Don’t make him go vegan or vegetarian or whatever the new crazy thing is these days. Men want meat; steak, ribs, tri-tip, bacon … the list is as endless as his lust for a perfectly cooked medium rare prime rib. Check out this list of ideas to surprise him with addition to his grilling arsenal.
Socializing & More Food
Men like to socialize with other men too.
They need to talk about … you know, whatever it is guys talk about. They want to have some beer, watch the game, hang out by the grill all day. Luckily this is easy to accomplish,
1.) invite some friends over,
2.)have plenty of beer and meat on hand,
3.) turn on the game and
4.) just let the day slide by.
The men will grill some burgers and brats, or maybe even smoke a rack of ribs. When football season is over, propose a poker night for the boys. Smoke some wings beforehand, stock up on drinks and snacks, then clear out of the house with your own friends for a few hours.
Most importantly, your man (and your marriage) requires affirmation
They like to know they’re getting it right.
Men have aged with an idea that someday they would be married and have a family. The way they envision it isn’t always the way it is. This is true for men and women; however, men feel a level of duty to “hit the mark”. They want to feel like men.
I sometimes feel that men have nightmares about the idea that they would be seen as a boy or someone who can’t handle the roll of a powerful husband — not as it relates to physical strength — as it relates to being the man of the house. Is this starting to sound like an old fashioned rant? Good, then you’re starting to see the picture and understand what its like to be a man.
Positive affirmation can do wonders for your relationship and his willingness to keep working towards being the ideal spouse. Not much can be more detrimental to a marriage than your husband getting the idea that you do not respect his thoughts, actions, and decisions. He wants to know that he’s charging the way and your right behind him cheering him on.
So what does it look like?
Simple really, when you notice him filling the traditional role of what we expect out of men, let them know.
“Hey honey, I really liked how you handled that situation just now; it really showed you were looking out for us – kinda hot.”
It doesn’t always have to be affirmation for a specific action either. It could just be that you notice he’s been working really hard, doing more around the house, spending quality time with the kids – whatever. Just try to be a little more aware of all the things he does which contribute to the adulting you guys do as a team – then, use the magical words of affirmation. And ladies — this doesn’t just make him happier and more fulfilled – it helps you live a happier and fuller marriage as well. It’s simple really: by looking at the positive more than the negative you’ll discover higher levels of satisfaction and happiness.
- positive affirmation: he’s comfortable and confident = he’s happier
- positive affirmation: he works harder at being a husband = you’re happier
- positive affirmation: marriage is strengthened = you’re happier
- positive affirmation: causes you to see the good more than the bad = you’re happier
- negative affirmation: it’s the opposite of the four previous points = death to a marriage (nobody’s happy)